The fog has returned as Universal’s premier Halloween event is back with a vengeance, unleashing a fresh lineup of haunted houses and experiences for Halloween Horror Nights 34.
This year’s line-up is arguably one of the most stacked line-ups the event has ever had, featuring several properties that fans have requested for years.
Featuring Five Nights at Freddy’s, Terrifier, The Horrors of the Wyatt Sicks, Fallout, and Jason Universe, each can make a case any year to be the headliner haunt.
So, what were our first impressions of this year’s event? The first weekend tends to have that “new car smell” when it comes to rankings, and hyperbole finds its way into the discussion. Another thing to keep in mind is that unless outright stated, none of these issues fall on the actors and are not a reflection of their performances. They are the heartbeat of the event and give it their all night in and night out.
It’s very possible, and very likely, this could change; but after opening weekend, here’s where we stand: (Some Spoilers. Video links to each house and zone are included in the title.)
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HAUNTED HOUSES
Terrifier (★★★★★)
The perfect haunted house. Scary, gory, funny, and has a lengthy runtime. Universal fully embraced the franchise’s trademark over-the-top kills, creating a grimy and bloody atmosphere. Art the Clown delivers plenty of creative scares; he’s particularly effective when he tries to be1` “normal.” There were many moments that made me laugh, but the tone would suddenly shift as he unleashed his violent tendencies, such as chainsawing someone in half. As for the Bloodbath path, expect to get decently wet, but not completely soaked.
The Horrors of the Wyatt Sicks (★★★★½)
A perfect love letter to the legacy of Bray Wyatt. Not only is the house scary for non-fans to enjoy, but it also features tons of details and hidden nods for wrestling fans that will send it over the top (Keep a sharp eye for the Undertaker’s urn). Each character gets a chance to shine in their own sadistic way before culminating in a finale that will make Wyatt fans feel goosebumps.
El Artista: A Spanish Haunting (★★★★½)
This house is absolutely stunning! The set design alone makes it worth a visit, with so much detail hidden within the architecture. The transition from the Conservatory to the Courtyard is incredibly well done, seamlessly connecting scare actors across both areas, leaving you in awe. Universal has incorporated the best elements from previous ghost-driven haunted houses and has gone all out in creating this melancholy and spooky tale. It’s unfortunate that this house is only available for two months.
GALKN: Monsters of the North (★★★★¼)
The surprise of this year! Galkn is a smorgasbord of blood and vibes. Inspired by Norse mythology, we find ourselves watching the evolution of “The Beast”, which eventually finds us in one of the year’s best scenes – inside the Belly of the Beast. Other notable moments include the burning Wicker Man that can be seen from multiple angles, and our first introduction to the Beast.
Jason Universe (★★★★)
Although the house lacks in set design, it compensates with a relentless onslaught from Jason, ensuring that you’re always confronted by this legendary horror icon. Jason. Is. Everywhere. Turn a corner? Jason. Step into the next room, and another Jason will come at you from the left, followed by one from the right. The experience ends in a literal Jason Gauntlet, where you’ll be bombarded by several versions of the masked killer, including the classic “Baghead” version. This is as “old school” as Horror Nights haunted houses can get.
Dolls: Let’s Play Dead (★★★★)
The most apt comparison is a demented version of Toy Story. We find ourselves shrunk to doll size in Lyla’s dollhouse – a sociopathic child who loves to torture her toys. The house includes some clever and imaginative methods of toy torture, such as getting “fried” by an EZ-Bake Oven. Unfortunately, the story ends just as it starts to gain momentum, where Lyla starts torturing living things, which prevents it from becoming a truly memorable experience.
Hatchet & Chains: Demon Bounty Hunters (★★★¾)
While we weren’t the biggest fans of the scene in last year’s Slaughter Sinema 2, the house translated very well into a full experience – but it is very dependent on timing. Out of our two runs, one felt completely empty, while the other turned out to be one of our favorite experiences of the event. For being a tent location, it also features some great set design, recreating a sleepy old west town.
Five Nights at Freddy’s (★★★¾)
From a technical standpoint, it’s one of Universal’s most impressive houses to date, utilizing puppets and animatronics to bring Freddy & Friends to life. While we may not be the target demographic, we still enjoyed the experience, even though we didn’t find it particularly scary. However, fans of the franchise are surely going to love it.
Grave of Flesh (★★★)
Grave of Flesh is like a blend of Poltergeist and Hellraiser. While we’ve seen cemetery entrances before, Universal has added a creative twist by allowing us to enter through the perspective of someone who has just been buried. It is a high-concept twist to a simple idea, but it does get a little confusing (and repetitive) as we enter deeper into the Flesh Eaters’ underworld.
Fallout (★★½)
The house looks great – unfortunately, it seems better suited as a Fan Fest Nights experience. It just wasn’t scary – and for a property that was already pretty light on horror, the decision to focus more on the characters leaves the house from ever reaching its potential as a haunted house. Despite that, they cast Lucy pretty damn well, and the T-60 armor props are very impressive.
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SCAREZONES
The Cat Lady of Crooked Lane (★★★★★)
We’re a sucker for the Pumpkins in Central Park. Crooked Lane is such a fun zone, and we can watch the Cat Lady play with her “babies” for hours. It blends hokey and horror very well. At one point, we saw the Cat Lady take out yarn so the cats can play with it, before turning to a Trick r Treater and viciously beating her to use her intestines as “kitty treats”.
Masquerade: Dance with Death (★★★★)
Many of Horror Night’s best zones take simple ideas and turn them on their head. In this case, the calm elegance of masquerade balls contrasts sharply with the bloody violence of vampires, creating one of our favorite zones this year, especially when it comes to photography.
Mutations: Toxic Twenties (★★★★)
Taking advantage of the size of New York, Toxic Twenties feels full of toxic poison as the mutant zombies overrun the streets. The lighting really enhances the vibe and creates great visuals, as the mutants either shine green or glow under the black light. Adding to the fun, Universal has created mini-stage shows, making for some memorable moments.
The Origins of Horror (★★★½)
The park’s entrance will always face challenges due to its location and the resulting foot traffic. However, Universal has implemented some creative adjustments that effectively enhance the theme of this year’s event without compromising space. The actors are excellent and make good use of the hidden spots created by the zone’s decor.
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SHOWS & ENTERTAINMENT
Nightmare Fuel: Circus of Decay (★★★★★)
A sequel to last year’s Nocturnal Circus – the circus returns better than ever, with more sexy dancing, magic, fire, and sexy dancing. While it hits the same beats as previous versions, it is an entirely new show and one that you should not miss. Did we mention the sexy dancing?
Death Eaters (★★★★★)
The Death Eaters received a slight update this year, as Voldemort has been integrated into the show. He unleashes his followers into Diagon Alley in search of Harry Potter. The new approach allows us to follow the Death Eaters through the various nooks and crannies of the area as they hunt for “The Boy Who Lived” and seek individuals to join their cause.
Haunt-O-Phonic: A Ghoulish Story (★★★★½)
This is essentially Ghoulish from 2022’s event back from the grave, and that’s OK! That show only had a 2-week run before a hurricane took it out. This version gets to use all the new technology the lagoon show received when it reopened last year.
Mel’s Die-In Zombies (★★★)
A nice addition to help flesh out some of the dead spots of the park. The zombies meander around Mel’s and do what they do best – look for brains at a leisurely pace.
Club Horror (★★½)
San Fransico scare zones have become a traffic headache in recent years, and Universal tried to solve it by changing out the experience. The idea is great, but the execution still creates a log jam (and it’s very light on theme). However, guests seem to be enjoying the dancing.
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Following up on what many consider a down year of Halloween Horror Nights with HHN 33, it does seem creators heard last year’s criticisms and addressed them. One of the big complaints in recent years was that, outside of scare zones, the park felt empty.
Not this year!
The beloved Chainsaw Clowns return to Springfield, adding much-needed life to that section of the park; and nowhere is safe as Art the Clown will randomly appear throughout the streets of Universal with his trash bag of debauchery. He may even interrupt your meal at Finnegan’s!
Speaking of food, this year’s event has some great options inspired by the properties featured.
Among our favorites are the Cram Tots & More (chili-glazed spam with cheddar tater tot kegs and scallions) from the Fallout booth and the Spicy Sausage (Merguez-style spicy grilled pork sausage with bloody harissa BBQ sauce) from the Jason Universe booth.
The much-talked-about Yum-Yum Eggs from Fallout taste good, but their texture is a bit unappealing. Not to mention, your mind feels like you’re about to bite into an actual egg.
Surprisingly, the Why Not Have Both Pizza & Pasta (Pepperoni pizza with baked spaghetti & meatballs and grated parmesan cheese) from Five Nights at Freddy’s was pretty good, and the cupcake, while overly decadent, makes for a nice dessert option.
And sorry, but we actually welcome the stick removal for the beloved Twisted Taters and think the snack is better for it.
Other must-trys include the Pan con Tamate from the El Artista booth, the Ramblin’ Rabbit Fried Carrot Cake from the Firefly Funhouse, and the Death by Cheesestick, a giant hand-breaded mozzarella cheese stick with spicy marinara sauce.
As for skips, the Clown Cafe’s Bloody Popcorn and Huskus’ Muscle Man Slop were a bit too out-there for flavor-mashing.
I’ve been attending Halloween Horror Nights since 2002, and the event will always have its ups and downs, but I can confidently say that this year’s initial experience ranks among the best years the event has ever had. The horror vibes are, as they say, immaculate. Everything feels connected and thoughtfully designed. Basically, they knocked it out of the friggin’ park.
Universal Orlando’s Halloween Horror Nights runs select nights through November 2.
Until then, we’ll see you all in the fog!
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